Deuteronomy 2:24

Many years ago, when I returned to the Lord and was born again, I had a nagging problem. Some years before that, I had an abortion and it was hanging over my head, causing all sorts of guilt.

As time went by and I learned more and more about the workings of the Holy Spirit, I was continually held back from fully experiencing and feeling free, due to that old guilt.

One night, I broke down on the alter. My heart was broken and I couldn't seem to get passed that old sin and guilt. I knew the Lord had forgiven me but I couldn't forgive myself. I kept visualizing the age the child would have been and agonizing over it.

That same night, I came home from church and after getting my daughter to bed, I sat down with the Bible. I searched and searched for some story similar to mine. Something like the prostitute and Jesus forgiving her. Something that would put my heart at ease. I was searching for justification.

As I sat on the couch, I finally closed the Bible, leaned my head back and cried out to the Lord. I confessed what I was doing, "Lord I'm searching for justification and I know that's wrong but...."  As I wailed away at the Lord, 3 times my thoughts were interrupted. Each time, it was as though a spirit swooped into my face with the message "Deut. 2:24" and each time, I dismissed it, going back to the subject at hand.

The 3rd time it happened, I gave up, stopped praying and said out loud, "Ok, already. I'll look up Deut. 2:24!"

I opened the Bible and read about the Israelites crossing over into the promised land. The message that stood out to me was 'contend with the enemy in battle for I have given you the victory'. It dawned on me that the devil had been playing with my mind. I stood up and bellowed, "Satan! Get your filthy lying hands off my mind!"

Immediately, it was as though a warm blanket covered me, started from my head and all the way to my toes. I was free. I had crossed over and contended with the enemy.

Over the next few days, more and more meaning came out of that one verse and grew until it became the substance of my life.

Translated into terms, we would understand today, God was telling His children to stand up and act like His children. Pull yourself up by the bootstraps, so to speak. Whether we feel like it or not, we are to stand up and act like His kids.

As His children, we have the world by the tail. Until we come to realize this (crossing the river) and until we come to realize that the battle is already won (contend with for I have given), we reach for an impossible goal of ' salvation'. Impossible in our minds but not in reality.

Just like the Israelites. Some were fearful and so were left to wander in the desert. Some were victorious and saw the plenty, instead of the giants. It really is a perspective and it's up to us to change our minds and become what God wants us to be - victorious.

There is no amount of study, no amount of faith, no amount of growing that can bring us to the state of mind, God wants. We have to simply DO it!

The Dream - Black Void

A few years ago, my niece had this dream from the Lord. In the dream, she saw nothing more than a patch of grass, a tree and bench. She sat on the bench.

Jesus came and sat with her and asked her what she could see behind her. She looked over her shoulder to see nothing, absolutely nothing but a black void. The Jesus told her, that's what her sins are like. When forgiven, they are gone - no longer a part of the picture - nothing but a void.

There was a great lesson in this dream and I hope you get the point. Laboring over an old sin that you've brought to the Lord and repented of, is so far off the charts, even Jesus doesn't know what you're talking about. It's as much a sin to feel guilt over that old sin, as it was to commit the sin in the first place.

It's gone! A black void. Nothingness. Not even a lingering shadow. No print left behind to tell you it was ever there.  So why do you keep bringing it up?

You've accepted Jesus. Now what?

I was saved at the age of 8 but not born again until age 30. Why is that? How could that happen?

We teach others how to come to the Lord but we leave out one huge step and that is how to give ourselves to Him. How many times are we told that we are the Bride of Christ and yet we don't understand that it's a two way street, just as in any relationship.

We are told God loves us and we even say it all the time, yet we don't know what that really means. We have to understand that our Lord Jesus feels the same way toward us, as any groom to be.

Just imagine a young man winning the hand of a young lady, only to watch her pay attention to anything and everyone except him. Does that sound like a two way relationship?

We set goals, we work toward tomorrows riches, we buy things and even polish those things, we adorn ourselves and most times, we are too busy doing these other things to consider our precious Jesus. How loved, do you suppose He feels?

You see, the love Jesus feels for you is so adoring, so deep and so everlasting, we cannot conceive of it. It's a love far more encompassing and far more unselfish than anything we will ever experience for feel. The love you have for your very own existence can't compare to that of Jesus for you.

Born again. What is it and when does it happen? It happens the day your realize you too, have to enter into the relationship and become His other half. It happens the day you come to understand the depth of His love for you and learn to cherish it.

What is it? I can only describe in mortal terms. When you were young and in love for the first time, didn't you want to be with that person? Didn't you love what they loved and hated what they hated, merely because of your love? Didn't that other person consume your every thought? Didn't that person affect the way you lived?

When this happens between you and Jesus, you change. You become all the things your true love desires and you want nothing to do with anything He hates. You are born again.

Keeping You Up To Date

Although it seems I'm not around much these days, the fact is I'm very busy online.  Most of my writing is at the Crafter'sCorner  the Home Site Blog  the Trucking blog and my Christian site blog

This in a addition to Squidoo pages and on Facebook

I haven't deserted this blog, just been so busy with others.

Give It Up

Give It Up



I have walked in that dark cloud where it seems all your life is just heaviness. Strife, struggle, confusion and unrest crams the mind of so many, in this world.

I know what it is to worry and fear from sun up to sun down and then all through the night. I know what it is to suffer in pain and not have the means to see a doctor, not have the time to rest. I know what it is to feel like nobody cares, that you are all alone in this world. I know what it is that causes you to feel unworthy to look the cashier, at the grocery store, squarely in the eyes.

I was on the run from an abusive ex-husband, having been robbed of everything valuable, stripped of all possibility to grasp my own world in order to survive. I know how that feels. I know how it feels to be grateful for the $11 in your pocket, so that you too can go to the grocery store. I know what it is to fear the unknown.

I know what would drive a young mother to thoughts of suicide just for relief from the fatigue due to the struggle. I know how it feels to know you don't have money for Christmas presents for your little one.

I know the implosion one feels in their brain, when the gas has run out, the old car might not start again and fancy suits drive past you while you push the old car up a hill, with your baby inside.

It doesn't feel good. It's tiring and wearing on the body. It makes an old woman out of you. I know what it is to forget how to have fun.

I've been there. Are you hurting? Are you down? Are you crying every night? Do you pray and pray and pray and it seems your words hit the ceiling and go no farther?

Do you want a friend? Do you want help? Would you accept it? Are you ready for it? Do you want to see green in the trees again? Do you want to sleep again? Do you want to be able to appreciate the crisp morning air again? Do you want peaceful thoughts in your head, again? You want the rope? You want off the merry-go-round?

I know the answer sounds so very simple but the fact is, it is the answer. It will put you on your feet again, make you feel human again, make you feel possibility again, make you dream of tomorrow again. You ready?

Speak His name. You know His name, just speak it. Give up. Give up. He's waiting for you to give up.

There's something very important you need to know. Just because you know about Jesus, doesn't mean you've stepped into His light. You see, it's a two way street. Accept Jesus into your heart but also remember to give yourself to Him. Sell out. It sure doesn't hurt.

Once you've given up and spilled it all out before Him, the Holy Spirit comes immediately to cleanse, cloak and to comfort. This is a real thing. I mean real as in, you will feel it, you will know it. It happens immediately. You will sleep again, like a baby in mothers arms.

Then the next morning, after you've had some rest, here's what you do. You take those concerns, those bills, those needs and you lay them out on the floor. Seriously, lay that gas bill on the floor. Lay out notes, listing your immediate needs, right there on the floor. Then point to them and tell the Father, "There is it. I can't fix this. You can. Fix it, Father. I need Your help". And then you walk away from those pieces of paper, laying out there before the Lord where He can acknowledge them.

From this point on, you do what you can and don't ask another thing from yourself. You are not the God, He is.

Five years from now, you won't be able to remember how those needs were met, you will just remember that somehow they were tended to. That's the point, it wasn't any of your business and so you don't remember.

Break before the Lord. Don't go whining to Him about your situation, look to Him for a solution. Recognize that you may not know the perfect answer. Rely on Him for that.

You will begin a whole new chapter in your life and some day, you will be sharing that experience with others, just like me.

Judy Sims